Related viewing: Kevin Garnett – A Profile In Courage
Great player, gutless person. You can just tell how much of a fake thug he is with that posturing he does in the above .gif. He must have worked pretty hard to get those snarls down. Glad he won his ring, but I laughed when he didn’t do anything after Anthony Peeler snuffed him. Kratos from God of War lookin mafucka.
Categories: Musings
Tagged: Kevin Garnett
Completely insipid blog post, but I just got a text from my girlfriend that read “Anderson Silva is fighting at ufc 101 with bj Penn”.
I’m telling you…any girl that loves violence and a good scrap is a keeper.
Man she better not break up with me.
Categories: Musings
Categories: Musings · Videogames
Tagged: Grand Theft Auto: Chinatown Wars
Protip: Obtain DJ Neil Armstrong’s Bittersweet. Use your credit card or your Google-Fu and track down this mix. I know I’m late to the party, but forget about that. If you’re driving with your significant other, or a girl you’re dating, or a girl you’re trying to date, bump this album in the car. Play it in your room. Write the lyrics down for every song that’s covered on the mix like the guy in the Boyz II Men video and give it to her. I guarantee you’ll get some…props. You ever heard Stevie Wonder blended with the Clipse? Yeah that’s right, you haven’t.
I’m an old 24. I’m slowly learning about women – just like you, young lad. Here’s what I’ve gathered so far:
1) Smelling good is always appreciated by women.
2) You have to take them somewhere nice every so often.
3) They’re impressed if your sheets are clean and your bed is made.
4) They don’t like videogame posters on the wall.
5) Girls don’t like play-fighting or slap boxing. Sometimes they do, but don’t force the issue.
6) Cool girls like shows and movies with guns and/or violence.
7) Cool girls are rare as hell. If you have one, keep her.
Categories: Music
Tagged: DJ Neil Armstrong
Because I’m lazy…for the dedicated, you’ll know why.
Working at a videogame store (GameCrazy) was probably one of the funnest jobs I’ve had. With that said, there was a lot of baggage that came with it as well.
1) For anybody who hasn’t been inside a GameCrazy, it’s pretty much a small rectangular cage inside of a Hollywood Video. Since a lot of people couldn’t differentiate between the two, I had to field a lot of Hollywood’s calls. One of them struck me as completely creepy..
Me: Gamecrazy..
Caller: Do you guys have any Mary Kate & Ashley movies?
Me: Oh…this is GameCrazy…you probably want to call next door at Hollywood..
Caller: Ok…well, do you know offhand if they have any Mary Kate & Ashley movies?
Me: I’m sure they do…
Caller: Movies where they show…you know…skin?
Me: *click*
2) I had this boss, Jason, who was and probably will always be one of the most lenient bosses I’ve ever had. He was a nice guy, but it wasn’t very hard to rag on him. He was about 5′8, 150-160lbs, and had a ponytail. I’d assume he was in his early 30’s, but he looked much older than that. He’d always go on and on when we would open up the store about how he had kicked so much ass the night before at his local watering hole. He also had a strange infatuation with karaoke, talking about all kinds of high-notes he would hit and how much tail he got afterwards. It was so obvious he was lying.
3) The GameCrazy I worked at was kinda inbetween the rich neighborhoods and the low-income housing, so we had some characters. 3:00PM to 3:45PM was probably the worst part of the working day, because that’s when school got out. Dozens of kids would come in to play on the demo units, so I had to play babysitter for about an hour. This one day, a fat kid runs in to the store crying profusely, talking about how the other kids inside stole his lunch, and how he wanted me to retrieve it for him. When I declined, he got on the floor face down and started yelling at the top of his lungs. I kicked him out.
4) I really didn’t care much about product, so I would at times leave the store unattended because I needed to use the bathroom. During opening hours, there would only be 2 people inside of the store, with 1 running the Hollywood side and the other operating the GameCrazy side. Since the Hollywood side was usually busy, I couldn’t get them to watch my store while I went to take a leak. When I got back from the bathroom, seeing multiple copies of Madden gone wasn’t a rare occurence.
5) The dopeboys would run shop in our parking lot, and so after they were done slanging their product, they’d usually come in and buy some games with whatever money they had made. From what I can gather, drug dealers aren’t very good at videogames. They’d always buy shit like GameSharks and Action Replays with whatever games they’d buy.
6) One of the demo units was close to a glass case, so naturally kids would lean up on the glass case while playing videogames. This would bug me because a) I’d have to Windex that glass case at least 30x a day because kids are greasy ass motherfuckers, and b) they’d usually knock all of the games out of order in the case. I took it upon myself to make a sign on top of the TV, which read “PLEASE DON’T LEAN ON THE CASE”. One kid was leaning on it, so I asked if he could read the sign. He looked at me with a blank stare, and just walked out. Two minutes later, his mom came stamping into the store, asking my co-worker where the “asian” kid was at. (That’s me, by the way). I asked if I could assist her in any way, and she went off on me, telling me that her kid couldn’t read over and over again, and how I should feel terrible about myself, and how she thought “orientals” were supposed to be polite. I wonder if that kid can read right now…probably not.
7) People calling daily to ask how to get past certain areas in a game, or if you could read codes off to them from strategy guides was pretty normal. It was also normal for me to laugh & hang up on them.
8) For anybody who’s worked in videogame retail, you’ve probably encountered your share of fanboys. I’ve heard enough “Kirby vs. Master Chief”, and “Sony vs. Nintendo” arguments to last me a lifetime.
9) There was this guy that would always come in everyday to play on the demo units. The thing was, he was in his 40’s, extremely overweight, and would always come in with a tanktop and jean shorts. He’d sport the knee-high socks, a fanny pack and the backwards cap on some days. Everyday he’d come in, telling me and my co-workers about how he was saving up to buy a PS2 and how his mom was going to loan him some money for one. He never did. The thing that made him so recognizable though is that he would always have his tongue full out like Michael Jordan while he was playing games. It never failed to make me laugh out loud.
There were a lot of perks about that job, like meeting a bunch of like-minded people when it came to games, and the stuff you’d reap from it. This one Chinese guy who I call Andy Lau (because he looked like him, kinda), would come in and bring me discs upon discs of HK action movies and Japanese AV. The 11 year old Korean kid who would ditch his Kumon class to play Final Fantasy Tactics at my store was pretty hilarious as well. I’d probably do it again if I had the chance.
Categories: Videogames
Tagged: GameCrazy, Hollywood Video
This conversation took place after I had laid a thorough ass-kicking on someone during a Street Fighter 4 session:
I am uncontrollably cackling after winning by a large amount
x2 quick: What the fuck are you laughing at? Fuck you!
I continue laughing, x2 quick comes with the typical homophobic barrage…
x2 quick: I’m gonna fucking kill you! Where do you live? What’s your address?
Dude…if you’re really going to kill me, do you think I’m going to give you my address?
Categories: Videogames
Tagged: Griefing, Street Fighter IV, XBox Live
Related reading: White House Names 1st Female Executive Chef
Related viewing: No Reservations – Philippines
Why isn’t Filipino food the next big thing in America? I’m paraphrasing, but Anthony Bourdain posed the question on No Reservations when he visited the Philippines, and it’s been something that I’ve wondered about as well for the past couple of days. Anecdotal evidence for sure, but most of my peers seem to enjoy the food that comes from the homeland, and Filipino cuisine for the most part utilizes product that mainstream America is pretty familiar with: beef, seafood, poultry & pork in copious amounts. The Filipino dining experience seems to mirror that of the typical American one – relaxed, conversational and easily approachable. I honestly think dishes like inihaw na baboy, beef kaldereta, and the thousands of takes on adobo could become fan favorites, but it just hasn’t happened yet.
Just brainstorming here, but:
Is it because Filipino food for the most part isn’t reliant on things like plating and using garnishes to enhance the presentation of the food at hand? For the most part, my experience with Filipino food on an aesthetic level are parallel with the presentations seen in frozen dinners – food that’s sectioned off on a plate that ultimately ends up mixed together to form a hodgepodge of deliciousness. There’s no kitschy-looking apples and oranges (as seen in some bento boxes) that are cut to resemble swans. I know it might not look that appetizing, but I’m not chewing with my eyelids.
Is it because the only representation thus far of Filipino cuisine in America is consumed on shows like Fear Factor and Bizaree Foods? Is Filipino cuisine too exotic to try? Americans have a pretty clear (and comfortable, perhaps) idea on China and Japan, but the Philippines not so much I believe. Some more anecdotal evidence, but whenever I eat at the tremendous Savory Fried Chicken in Sacramento, people who walk in that aren’t Filipino take one glance at the menu and leave. I mean, why is this? There’s a mission statement at the top talking about how their chicken is famous in the Philippines, and other moonspeak on the menu that some may be fearful of, but their bread and butter is FRIED CHICKEN! WHAT WERE THEY EXPECTING AT A PLACE CALLED SAVORY FRIED CHICKEN? I’m willing to bet they’ve had some fried chicken in their lives. Total tin-foil hat, overly sensitive Filipino mode activated maybe, but are some really that unfamiliar with Filipinos? To the point that they won’t try a different take on a staple dish?
Is it because if you have one dish at one place, you’re bound to have a completely different take on that same dish somewhere else? I think this might the big reason as to why Filipino cuisine hasn’t blown up, because there really isn’t one clear-cut way to make Adobo. If you order Teriyaki chicken, you probably will end up with something that comes close to what you expected. Sinigang, not so much.
There’s other reasons as to why I think Filipino cuisine hasn’t broke into mainstream America – things like bangus, bagoong, the use of bittermelon and the overall sourness of most Filipino dishes I believe won’t coincide with the palette of the typical American. Noi in Los Angeles seems to be on the right track and led me to believe that a Filipino restaurant could flourish outside of its installed Filipino customer base, with their new takes on Filipino dishes, a slick interior and overall fantastic product.
But I await the day that my co-workers talk about their weekend and how they had sisig and thought it was crazy delicious.
Categories: Musings
Tagged: Anthony Bourdain, Filipino Cuisine
Nike Sportswear – Limited Edition TV
I really can’t explain why I like this type of humor, but I do. In an effort to promote the rather excellent Nike Sportswear line, Nike has created Limited Edition TV, a fairly bizarre show starring Daichi Ito. The premise of the show is that Ito is a pretty big fan of streetwear, and every episode he has a short interview with some of streetwear’s elite, from DJ Clark Kent to Dave Ortiz from DQM. The influence of The Ali G Show is obvious, from the cable access quality filming that’s present in the Borat skits, to the interview stylings seen in the Ali G skits. Former EGM writer Shawn Elliott created the term wahjah, which is a word that’s used to describe embarrassment by proxy. Wahjah is pretty prevalent in things like The Office, or like if you have a friend who thinks they’re hilarious but really isn’t, and they’re really trying to hammer a particular joke home but all you can think about is how this poor bastard wasn’t blessed with the funny and that it’s futile to change destiny.
This show is full of the wahjah, so check the site out if you’re a fan of trainwreck television.
Categories: Streetwear
Tagged: Daichi Ito, Limited Edition TV
Thanks to the nature of the Internet, I just finished watching Tyson, a movie that’s based on an interview with Mike Tyson during his time at a rehabilitation clinic. And right now I’m floored.
I never envisioned Tyson as some raconteur, because typically I’d hear the copious amounts of malapropisms and the hilarious rants about wanting to eat children in bite-sized soundclips that would get aired repeatedly. What’s essentially 80+ minutes of Tyson talking on a couch and clips from his fights ends up being one of the most gripping, hilarious and saddening films I’ve ever seen. From finding out that he fought with gonorrhea during his first title bout, to seeing Tyson suck back tears discussing how Cus D’amato’s death affected him personally, you can’t help being drawn into the psyche of Tyson.
From being a fat kid with a high-pitched lisp, to becoming the most feared man in the world, to devolving into a broken 44 year old who seeks normalcy, I promise you won’t be let down by the story that Tyson tells. Truly excellent stuff.
Categories: Musings
Tagged: Mike Tyson
Categories: Streetwear
Tagged: The Hundreds
